11.11.09
I heart dinosaurs and weird little animals
They’re just so majestic and fascinating. I have a fixation for big things, stuff larger than life and in your face. Ok in view of the last post, that might’ve sounded obscene. Now there’s news that dinos could’ve been warm-blooded.
![dinosaur-printable-invitation[1]](http://puregreenjade.files.wordpress.com/2009/11/dinosaur-printable-invitation1.jpg?w=305&h=337 "dinosaur-printable-invitation[1]")
Doesn't this big guy inspire awe?
Where was Bruce Willis when the dinos needed him?
Kind of terrifying huh… imagine the chaos on Earth. If not directly wiped out by it, life would’ve been severely disrupted by big changes in climate and atmospheric content. Kind of sad when you think about it… these magnificent beasts, more massive than anything that had ever walked on Earth, killed by a cosmic rock.
Another fascinating period in prehistoric times was the Cambrian Explosion, something I remember during my Biology days. It was a period where there was a sudden rapid appearance of many bizarrely unique and new groups of funny looking little creatures… they’re awesome! They’re spectacular in and of themselves, as well as because of why they suddenly just came to be. Almost like a little divine experiment…
![Burgess1[1]](http://puregreenjade.files.wordpress.com/2009/11/burgess11.jpg?w=454&h=334 "Burgess1[1]")
Depiction of what was discovered at the Burgess Shale fossil field, which dates mid-Cambrian
Ancient civilizations and even more ancient life forms have always captured my interest and imagination. Maybe in another life I’ll be a paleontologist or a historian. Always looking into the past so we may better understand our present and future.
08.04.09
A sense of time and growth
I looked up at the sky, just at the porch of my childhood house, and realized that my view was partially obscured by the leaves that fanned out from far-reaching limbs of the tree in front of the house. Surprised, my eyes traced the little branches that stemmed from the main ones, each surrounded by little regular-shaped leaves. The tree had grown so much since I was last… aware of it.
I saw that it cast a shadow over the area I was standing. At the side of this busy main road, it shot up over the years and provided shade and a little colourful respite from the bland ugliness of the concrete jungle.
I felt a kinship to this tree right then. I remember when my dad planted the whole row of angsana branches along the main road and round the corner, all shorter than I was. It grew while I grew, without my even noticing how much it did. It’s really tall and strong now.
The tree is not spared from the effects of pollution though. Though the newer shoots are still fresh and green, much of the older leaves are gnawed by brown decay. Some of the other trees have been cut down by the authorities, as they’ve either been brushing at the power lines or threatening to topple over on the house.
But this one nearest to the front gate stands, next to the frangipani tree that’s been there even before I was born. The one that sheds crunchy leaves all over the front. As a kid I remember I used to love trampling on them so they sounded like crackers crunching up under my shoes.
I felt sad, because it takes so little to plant a tree but it gives back so much more. In life and in death. They grow so magnificently. You can feel it’s age and its wisdom. And yet, all around the world, their like is being mutilated and destroyed.
Another reason why humans just suck.
05.11.09
On the subject of morality
Me me me me me… yes, this blog is all about me. I was wondering if I’ve been too self-absorbed with my posts when I also realized this is MY blog. Lol. What am I supposed to write about… current affairs? My country’s crumbling political system? Who’s dating who or who’s wearing what? We already have newspapers and tabloids to deal with that. And if I feel any of those worthy of my comments, then I will provide some. Until then, I’m just going to bore my limited pool of readers with stuff about me. That’s why you guys rock, ‘cos you stomach all this stuff just to check out what’s going on in my increasingly mundane life. ><
Anyway. Today I feel like crapping out some thoughts on morality. It is a timeless issue that we may respond to differently at different stages in our lives. But in making a stand, no matter what your life situation is, you build your character and take a step towards the ideals you want to personify.
Who’s to say what’s right and what’s wrong? Some of us have religions that dictate these things, and some of us are ruled by some sense of ethics possibly shaped by societal norm and culture and whatever. Humans have empathy, so generally we conduct ourselves in a way that does not cause pain and suffering to the next person.
How far does a person take his or her moral conviction? Until it becomes an inconvenience? Until it gets in the way of self-gratification? Until something has to be sacrificed in order to do the right thing?
The people I admire most hold their ground until the end, no matter what it takes to uphold their principles.
How about morals with regards to commitment? It should be fairly straightforward – if you’re committed, then commit to being committed. If not, one betrays the other’s love and trust and hence, causes the aforementioned pain and suffering. So why do bastards and bitches do it? After all, we’re supposed to be a moral and civilised society. Can there be any justification for cheating?
I’m inclined to say no, you cannot ever justify ripping a person’s heart out of their throats. But who am I to judge? All I know is that the ideals that I would like to personify do not allow for it. If there’s a problem, fix it. If there’s another person, don’t pursue it.
I agree with what a wise young woman said, that commitment is the conscious making of decisions that honour the commitment. Politely decline the invitation for drinks, for example. Don’t reply messages, or avoid situations that could potentially tempt you. No matter how hot the antagonist is. Because some things are worth saving and keeping and treasuring.
And on a biological perspective, people commit to increase their chances of conceiving and then their chances of raising an offspring to maturity. So commitment is a GOOD thing. Lol.
Just some food for thought before we all start a fresh week in our moral lives.
02.18.09
Letting go
After watching a movie centred around death, loneliness and loss, I’m reminded that life is really too short and there are things I should let go of before they become irreparably damaged. I wrote an email to her to say not exactly good bye, but more of a see you later. I think we need to stay on our seperate roads for now. Our paths will cross when they will cross. Until then, I wish her all the happiness she seeks.
01.31.09
Please be careful
A clos friend of mine, KL, got into a nasty accident on the Kerinchi Link at about 6pm on Thursday (29th). It was raining and one of the back tyres lost control. He was going at about 70km/h. The old Rav4 flipped and he was actually suspended upside down.
He managed to crawl out and had a bit of help from a motorcyclist. No serious injuries, thankfully, just some cuts and bruises and a shoulder sprain at most. The car is a pretty sturdy, solid car – I love Rav4s, actually – and it protected him, but now it’s a wreck and may not be able to be salvaged.
When he told me about this, I chastised him for not being careful after checking if he was okay. But after I hung up, it really sank in that he could’ve been seriously hurt or worse. My heart rate picked up, I felt breathless and tears squeezed out as I imagined the possibilities of alternate outcomes – which were not far-fetched given the random nature of such events.
When you’re on the road, please be careful… I would be devastated to lose any one of my friends. Being careful also includes not speeding…. because you never know when something unexpected might occur, when you’ll need control of your car. And don’t drink and drive – it’s an undignified way to go. Think of your family if not yourself.
For fear of sounding naggy, I will stop here.
Bye bye 2008
This year has been something of a mixed blessing… I have struggled with doubts, my principals and ideals, lapses in judgement, loss, and an awareness of a future and fate that’s suddenly looming all too soon. But as a result, there has been personal growth, a keener sense of responsibility and a reminder that happiness isn’t something that’s neatly packaged and served on a silver platter.
Everything I have today I’ve either been blessed with or had to work for it. And work was what I pretty much did the whole year round, so much so that until mid-November I took I think just 2 1/2 days of leave. That’s kinda sad.
But it definitely paid off professionally in my first year as senior copywriter. My writing style now has much more flexibility to appeal to different people whereas before I’d struggled with mature target audiences. The improvement came with the growing up, having to read more and probably the fact that I was thrown in the deep end for the Dell account…
During my job evaluation last week, my boss told me (rather dramatically, I thought) that ‘my time has come’. He wants me to step up on the leadership role with the creative teams, make more creative decisions, get involved in more client presentations (shudder), start concerning myself with the improvement of the junior writers – basically ‘monkey see monkey do’ with the creative heads. That’s something to… ‘look forward to’… in 2009, I suppose.
On a more personal front, I guess I will keep at what I’ve always been doing when it comes to my family, or try to do it better: Keep seeing to their needs, contribute financially as much as I can, exercise patience, and don’t let my mouth just fly when I’m irritated. And show them that I care in that bashful, non-expressive way that Asian families do.
And on an even more personal front, this is what I will work on as values seem to have taken a back seat in an increasingly cold world:
- Consideration and understanding towards the people important to me
- More empathy, more effort
- To stick to and uphold my faith and principals
Lastly, because I want to, for a certain special someone:
- To always keep the channels of communication open
- Genuinely stick to working stuff out without taking the easy route
- Commit
The lack of these were pretty much the main reasons why previous relationships didn’t last. But by trusting me he’s restored faith in my ability to make things work. It’s been refreshing, like I’ve been given a clean slate and empowered to fill it with great things.
I guess that pretty much sums up what’s coming up… who knows? But carpe diem, it’s in our hands.
Have a good one tonight!
03.29.08
Futility
Ecclesiastes 1:2:”Vanity of vanities, all is vanity”. When I was living in Singapore, I listened to a sermon about this particular book in the Bible. I can never forget it because the truth and the poignancy of it left such a lasting impression. The first line itself just resonated with the things I couldn’t articulate but had always felt inside.
The author of Ecclesiastes laments about the senselessness of everything – of pleasures, material gains, hard work, even wisdom - because whatever enjoyment or achievement in life will be nulled by the inevitability of death. Even the cyclical nature of things – the days, the seasons, the tides, generations coming and going - are tiresome and purposeless to the author. Because at the end of the day – what does it all matter?
There is no new thing under the sun. All is grasping the wind.
This book was written more than 2000 years ago, but it’s just as relevant then as it is now. People 2000 years ago and people today are still asking, “What the fuck is all this about, really?”
As I get older, the question crosses my mind more and more. What’s all this stuff for? From the time you wake up until you stagger home, dead tired from work – do you ever wonder if there is a Point? I write copy. Can I seriously believe that any of my work will affect anything more than a tiny peak in some marketing chart IF I’M LUCKY?
So the work’s for the money (and whatever masochistic enjoyment you get out of slaving for someone), to eat, to pay the bills, buy the house(s), hook up, get kids (oops), spoil them silly, go on family vacations, pay for your Alzheimer’s meds, your retirement home fees… and then your kids use whatever’s left to buy your funeral plot.
If you think this sounds cynical, try reading the Biblical version.
But of course, the author had a message and wasn’t just rambling on because his scrolls of sheepskin parchments were some ancient form of blogging. If life under the sun is all vanity and grasping for the wind, how then should we live? The author was really demonstrating how futile everything is if death is the penultimate of existence, which the Christian doctrine says is not. So he counsels to live honourably, do things in moderation, enjoy God’s gifts in one’s own labour, fear Him, keep His commandments, etc, because God will bring judgement.*
You may or may not agree depending on your own belief system. But if you are a thinking, rational being, the question of the meaning of your life will at some point be posed. I don’t think it’s necessarily easier for ‘religious’ people to know, either, because while faith can be as solid as a mountain, it can be as elusive as a black cat on a tar road at midnight…
It bothers me these days, about what I’m trying to achieve with my life. All I see everywhere these days are endless cycles of meaningless activities motivated by hedonism. That’s why I admire people who commit to causes, from people ‘up there’ like international rock star Bono down to the volunteer workers in the Johor floods. Because they could choose to do nothing. They could choose to devote their time, money, energy and resources to pursuing vanities.
I hope that if this post doesn’t help to put you to sleep, it will at least be a thought-starter for questions I’ve been posing to myself: How have I made my life more meaningful? What can I do to better my life and those around me? What do I want my legacy to be?
Good luck in your journey!
Note: I’m obviously not an authority on the Bible or history, so this extremely brief outline of the book is merely based on my understanding of lessons taught in church and information gleaned online. I also aknowledge that as with many historical documents, there are different interpretations of the book of Ecclesiastes.
