December 13, 2011
That time of the year again
As the years go by, certain dates become more meaningful than they otherwise would have been if not for my old unwelcome companion, PAH. Like my birthday today, for one. I am blessed, and as usual I am grateful that I’m still here today. I’m a little more worn out, a little more worried and at times a little more depressed, but it has not defeated my will to carry on or ability to enjoy life. Not as much as it could. So fuck you very much, PAH! I’m still standing in my late twenties… – Good Lord, I feel old. But I feel alright, and I feel like there’s time left.
I wish some people could get that, though… that these milestones like my birthday, the day I was diagnosed, even Christmas, mean something to me aside from the obvious. Every year that passes grows closer to the year that won’t, and nobody can tell when that is for someone like me, so it is a triumph that it isn’t THIS year. I’m being a bit morbid but funnily, to be able to be grateful for what you have, you first have to know what lies on the other side.
So excuse me if I get emotional, sentimental or even display a bit of bitterness over the people I feel should understand but don’t seem to give me the time of the day. Blame it on the meds.
Thank God for my friends. My closest, oldest friends threw me a little dinner last Friday and stuffed me with chocolate truffle. It was great, and that’s all I could ask for, really… the company of the people I love over a hearty meal. That’s one of life’s greatest pleasures.
