God knows I’ve done my fair share of disappointing people – boyfriends, friends, family, whoever – and it doesn’t feel good to let people down, but it really really sucks when the reverse happens.

Maybe I spoke too soon about looking forward to Monday because while MonDAY was sort of ok with too much work to really dwell on the bad weekend, MonNIGHT took a turn for the worse, very unexpectedly, just like how today is taking a turn for the worse.

The movie cheered me up somewhat, but my mood turned black as the sky when I was back home.

In these few days, the people who know me best and whom I care about the most simultaneously decided in their heads that it was a good time to give one back to me.

It’s beautiful how harmoniously the universe works. I mean, it just wouldn’t do for them, for Circumstances, to stagger their blows. No, obviously the world doesn’t spin that way. As it should be, the punches were delivered at the same time with very generous helping of force, like a big cosmic knuckle sandwich.

Alright, you get the breath knocked out of you, but you gotta roll with it right? Get up, suck it up and move on with life.

That’d be easy if I didn’t intermittently get angry and upset throughout the day.

For whatever my faults are (and I know there are plenty), I am there for each and every one of those I care about. I might be late, I might not be able to find the right words, or do the right thing even, whatever, but I will get there and be there in whatever way I can. I will stick up for you when others criticize (the need for this is more often than one might think), I will justify your actions even if you don’t deserve it and I will defend you whether you’re right or wrong. It may sound like blind loyalty, but that’s my promise to the few people I give a damn about. If I’ve failed anyone in doing this, it is not my intention.

Knowing what I’m willing to do and have done makes it incredibly frustrating on top of feeling abandoned.

Perhaps it is a blessing in disguise that I’ve had to rush a big presentation for these past two days. Only had time to brood in between delivering stuff and meetings.

Tired of dark thoughts for the past couple of days. You know, either I’m worth it or I’m not. If I’m not, don’t waste my time and yours.