04.11.09
Misunderstood
This morning, one question I asked my dad set him off on a tirade against me. He ranted and raved at my perceived insolence/ingratitude and threatened to get out of the car. Tempted as I was to let him, I had to quell the burning anger inside and try to speak calmly. I didn’t quite succeed but my retorts might’ve been a tad more restrained than I originally intended. I was furious and indignant at constantly being talked down to in the past 2 days or so, being put under pressure for something he delayed and finally, for having my question misinterpreted. All I asked was: SO YOU’RE TAKING THE CAR?
Wtf, wtf.
And then at night, I was lashed out at for not picking up the phone. Was accused of purposely not picking it up, which 1) begs the question why I would do that, 2) implies I was avoiding the call hence implying I’m up to something 3) does not make sense considering I had sent a message not too long before that. The reason is simple: I could not hear the phone above the noise of the dinner crowd at peak hour in the mall.
I’m kind of fed up of today. The only thing that might have redeemed it was watching the band again. Vijay David and Albert Sirimal once again took my mind, heart and soul to a very pleasant place. They rock.
04.02.09
Silver clouds
I’ve been all gloom and doom lately, it’s even been getting to me! Not only due to my surgery but also while in the hospital I had some time (well, a lot of time) to think about the things in my life, and I really want to get more out of every day. We toil and toil day in day out, and in the endless cycle of rinse and repeat we lose sight of what we’re doing it for.
So together with my recently discovered kindred spirit Nieves, I’m going to try and do more things that I enjoy and maybe even meet new people on the way. We’re in absolute agreement on this course of action! So far we’ve been checking out salsa bars (with the intention of taking up classes next month; would be perfect if djb can join us too!) and attending live band nights at this cool place. Well ok, I attended one night but plan to go again tomorrow. The band that night plays very classic rock oldies like the Beatles, and they really surpassed my expectations. I knew they would be seasoned performers, but the lead singer can also play several instruments (he totally rocked the harmonica), and the guitarist had pretty l33t skillz. They both can sing well too. I mean… this is no Laundry with prepubescent kids who are still taking music lessons lol.
Doing this feels good not because I wanna be ‘happening’… I would go and mindlessly club in KL if that were the case… but it’s adds something meaningful to my day. I love dance, I love music, and I get to have good conversations with someone whose company I enjoy. I’ve also met some new people, like Eve’s friends, and another salsa newbie.
There’s something about small talk with new people that brings the hope and sparkle of fresh beginnings; that your slate is wiped clean and without the baggage of your past, without the preconceptions that casual acquaintances (and sometimes close friends) have about you, you can be the person you want to be. Dunno if that made any sense.
Attending salsa gatherings has been quite an education – I had no idea people met up so regularly and in such large numbers! Well, relatively large, though nothing compared to line dancing aunties, heheh. Now they are hardcore, lol. It’s inspiring too, ‘cos you wanna be able to do all those cool moves. But tonight Nieves had to abruptly leave, because there was a… situation she had to go deal with. Be strong babe, and don’t forget how much you’ve achieved over the last few months.
I’m sleeeeepy now… just thought I’d update before logging off and calling djb. I love hearing his voice before I sleep.
Hope… I… can… wake… up… for… work…
